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Post by Perdy the Birdy on Apr 6, 2012 5:26:59 GMT
I was having this conversation with a friend the other day, the difference between cuddle buddies and friends with benefits.
What do you guys think of it all?
Do you think it's a bad idea because it could be leading them on? Are they okay as long as clear lines have been established? Is one person going to become attached because that's just how it seems to work (in the movies at least xD)?
DISCUSS.
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Post by Palagrin on Apr 6, 2012 11:05:10 GMT
If you want this to be a serious discussion you should probably define both terms first
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Post by Matt on Apr 6, 2012 11:59:43 GMT
If you want this to be a serious discussion you should probably define both terms first Knowledgeable Matt is here! Cuddle Buddy: A friend that you can sit at home and cuddle together, maybe kissing depending on how you both feel. It's sort of a mutual agreement to both provide some sort of physical contact helping both parties emotionally. Basically having the nice part of a boyfriend/girlfriend, without having to worry about being in a relationship. Can often lead to a friend with benefits, or said buddy becoming a boy/girlfriend. A friend with benefits, is pretty much the same, except replace the words 'cuddle' and 'kiss' with 'ravage sexually'. A f**k buddy. Again, not usually in a relationship, however both parties agree that sexual gratification is needed, so agree to have sex whenever one or the other is sexually frustrated or just had a bad day or whatever. May lead to a partner, but less likely to transgress into a cuddle buddy. It depends on how you feel emotionally, personally I'd take a cuddle buddy over a friend with benefits any day. But if you catch me when I'm feeling more... libidinous, then it may be a different story. I'm a cuddler though, rather than a sexual ravager.
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pixie
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Post by pixie on Apr 7, 2012 4:42:28 GMT
hhhmmm.... I dunno. I don't have any guy friends who'd I'd lie around and kiss, but I do have guy friends who I curl up with and watch movies and junk. We don't kiss, but I usually sit in his lap and junk. but we're totally platonic, so I'm not sure it's even the same thing. We've been friends forever. I don't do friends with benefits. It's just not my thing. I'm not even going to pretend I wouldn't get emotionally attached.
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Lydiaaaaa:D
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Post by Lydiaaaaa:D on Apr 7, 2012 12:52:35 GMT
I think FWB are totally fine under these conditions: -There is ABSALOUTLY zero chemistry between you and the other person -If one person fancies the other person but the other person doesn't then you shouldn't do it because that just ends in disaster -No emotional attachment just s*x / Snogging
The cuddle buddy thing just sounds too emotional for that kind of thing..
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pixie
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Post by pixie on Apr 7, 2012 16:15:11 GMT
^^what fun is a friends with benefits relationship if there's no chemistry? I mean, I don't do those relationships anyway, but seriously. If you're not attracted to the person, then why would you want to be all up on them. I wouldn't...
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Post by Sparrow on Apr 8, 2012 1:23:58 GMT
I understand friends with benefits. Heck I've been in that kind of situation more than a few times. Sometimes I just want something physical and no complications. Sometimes she just wants someone to be there. ...sometimes it just happens and that can be a little awkward afterwards.
Cuddle buddies though? Wow I really wouldn't go there with a 10ft barge pole. Those acts to me signify feelings and the possibility of a relationship, and I am not in a good position at the moment to be in a relationship. All so what if you just want to hug and hold hands but she wants to be in a relationship? Or vice versa. I could see something like that quickly messing up a friendship
^ To me a friend with benefits is someone I get along with really well but a relationship would not be feasible with them. That could be for a multitude of reasons such as we argue all the time etc etc. attraction can still be there but neither of us wants to make it serious.
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Post by Madi The Unicorn on Apr 8, 2012 19:16:11 GMT
I dont think things like that should happen if there are no feelings. Why kiss and cuddle someone if you don't actually like them? If there's no emotion then why do it in the first place? It doesn't mean anything. Same for sexual relationships.
People only ever get hurt in those types of relationships. I've been hurt from a friends with benefits relationship and I wasn't even involved. The person I liked and have liked forever got with someone as friends with benefits. She actually wanted more but settled for that since he didn't want anything more. They didn't do anything cause after kissing he realised he didnt want that at all because he still liked someone else.. She got hurt, told me (god knows why- probably just to spite me) and then I got hurt.
If you love someone who wants friends with benefits just dont do it. Because maybe you are getting closer to them and maybe they could fall for you. But I would hate to be in a relationship with someone I love and for them not to actually love me back only want to use me for their own pleasure or for their own emotional needs..
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Post by Lydiaaaaa:D on Apr 8, 2012 21:02:10 GMT
^^what fun is a friends with benefits relationship if there's no chemistry? I mean, I don't do those relationships anyway, but seriously. If you're not attracted to the person, then why would you want to be all up on them. I wouldn't... You are both attracted to eachother however there isn't a spark..
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Post by Madi The Unicorn on Apr 9, 2012 0:55:56 GMT
^ I get what Lydia means.. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you share a chemistry with them. You could both find each other super hot, but when you sit and talk together you could be as dull as rocks... It's not the same as finding someone attractive and having that spark with them- being able to talk about nothing all day with them and still go away thinking "if i could do today over I wouldn't have changed a thing."
I dunno though. I thinik if there's no chemistry any relationship like that just wouldn't last, because chemistry between two people is what keeps it working- what keeps you wanting to see them. If you started off with no chemistry, either you'd get to know them and realise oh wait we do have chemistry (because being intimate with someone means seeing sides of people you wouldn't normally- tbh in most cases it's weird to think of people being intimate cause it can change peoples personalities so much. And being intimate opens emotions, makes you more likely to want to share things with them since you've already shared intimicy...) or you'd get bored because without chemistry the communication wouldn't be great, it'd get boring, it wouldn't be as good etc..
Blegh. I just think its bad. I wouldn't ever want that, not even with someone I was desperately in love with who I knew I couldn't get any other way.. I'd rather be lonely and sad then be with someone on their own terms just because they want a cuddle/kiss/sex but they're not in a proper relationship..
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Post by stacey on Apr 9, 2012 20:35:44 GMT
Madi, it wasnt to spite you, ever thought she just needed to talk to someone because she was hurt? I dont support FWB at all, people get hurt because it's inevitable that someone will end up falling for the other, lads have asked me before and hinted and I'm like no sexytime off. However, I'd rather FWB with the chance of getting hurt than 'cuddle buddies' purely because it's called 'cuddle buddies' I mean come on, wtaf?! PS Michael, I'm back, be glad
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Post by Kai'ichi on Apr 9, 2012 20:50:14 GMT
So what's the difference between cuddle buddies (I read this as bunnies so many times) and the relationship between very close friends? Minus the kissing (which needn't be part of cuddle buddies anyway). To me both are kind of interchangable, although by close friends I do mean close - not just "we're best friends alalalalala."
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Post by Michael on Apr 9, 2012 20:57:47 GMT
However, I'd rather FWB with the chance of getting hurt than 'cuddle buddies' purely because it's called 'cuddle buddies' I mean come on, wtaf?!PS Michael, I'm back, be glad I love you already. @kai... can we change it to Bunnies please?
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Post by Kai'ichi on Apr 9, 2012 21:46:38 GMT
@michael Yes...yes we can.
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Post by Madi The Unicorn on Apr 9, 2012 23:37:54 GMT
Madi, it wasnt to spite you, ever thought she just needed to talk to someone because she was hurt? Sorry but out of all the people she had to talk to about it, she didn't need to tell me when she knows I'm crazy about her. She knew it would hurt me. And it did. She didnt have to tell me. We didn't discuss it. She basically blabbed about it to me, I got upset. That's it. And it can't have been because she felt guilty about hurting me because she's made it clear in the last few days she doesn't care anymore about my feelings and doesn't even want to be friends. Just saying. Anyway I dont want to fight about this here especially as you're not actually involved in this stuff and even though you're friends and know whats going on, your not getting the same emotional reaction as me, so you wouldn't understand exactly how I feel, you can only presume.. Apart from that- Cuddle Bunnies sound cute. :3
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